We were so happy with the turnout of folks that ran with GoMitchGo at the OKC Memorial marathon.  We even had Seth Carley blaze to a top 10 finish from over 10,000 runners in the half marathon.  This is going to be an annual event and we would love to have hundreds of people wearing our colors next year.  You know.....we all have our "story" in life....and I just continue to be amazed at how closely woven together we all are.....even when we are unaware.  The Master has His hand spread all throughout His creation.  

These thoughts were going through my mind as I ran North up Lincoln....right past OU Medical Center....where I had made far too many trips.  I remember driving out of that hospital parking lot at 345 am on September 27, 2007....after watching my son pass away right in front of me......trying to console my wife....and swearing that I would never drive down this road again.  Well....not this time 13th street....I am running past you now....with lungs filled.....heart aflame.....carrying a legacy of life......that was meant for greater things than could be contained on the 11th floor.  I have never been at greater peace in my life....than inside that building.  My Father had is arms around me and my son during those dark days.  I say a prayer for those at OU Medical Center.....and press on.  Go Mitch Go.

I can't pretend to speak for other folks....but for me....I will never get past not having Mitchell around.  I guess the best way to describe losing your best friend and only son is that......it is always there....it always hurts.....but the number of days in which it is unbearable....stretch out as time goes by.  I don't ever want the pain to dull.....but I wish I never had the pain....which creates a special kind of hellish equation that is impossible to solve on some days.

I still know the exact height that Mitchell hits me when we hug.  I can feel the shape of his head on my fingertips...I know every curve of his neck.....collarbone....shoulders.  I still know the things that he would laugh at....the music that he would like....and I am keenly aware that I have not played a game on "our" Xbox 360 since he passed away.  

May is baseball....plain and simple.  I understand.  I can play it.  I can coach it.  I love it.  Everything makes sense between the chaulk.  It is the greatest time of the year and the hardest time of the year for me.

May 14 was a great day.  The Lord blessed me with a great dream.  Mitchell was in it....and I could actually feel the hug that we gave on another.  I know that there has to be some metaphor/symbolism in dreams.....so the fact that I am fighting through a crowd to get to Mitchell in this dream is pretty much standard formula.....but what made it so special.....is that once I got to him......we both just smiled in our long embrace as Mitchell plainly said:  "It's alright Dad.....it is all good.  I'm all good."  I awoke with a start....my heart racing.....and torn between genuine thankfulness for the blessing and heartache.  Such is the road I travel.....

May 15 is a special day...but didn't start out that way.  Mitch would have been 13....and quite frankly....I didn't want to see / talk / hear from anybody.  I just wanted to shut the door on the world.....which continues to move along.....wth me as a prisoner.....while my son is frozen at 10.  

Closing the world off wasn't an option today....because OU Baseball and Power Roofing were having the 2nd Annual LLS Awareness Day in Mitchell's honor.  Mitch's relationship with OU Baseball has been well documented on this blog....but honestly...I thought maybe that it was starting to wane.  Outside of the coaching staff and 2 seniors.....none of these kids were really around whenever Mitch was alive and running around at OU Baseball camp. We thought it would be a good idea to bring some of our "keep fighting" bands to the team.....just to keep Mitch's memory alive.....even if only for this day.

We arrived at the park....took some cookies and the reminder bands to the locker room while the team was taking BP.  I head up the tunnel to visit with the coaching staff.....whom have become good friends of our entire family.  I visit with Coach Golloway and start to pick his brain about "how" this team lost the game the previous night.  We have similar thoughts about some choice words that need to be said to address the problem of "taking things for granted".  Coach Whitaker is happy to give a pre - game talk in left field......while choking back emotion....and looking at bunch of young mens faces that could very well be Mitchell.....in 6 years.....IF he were still with us.

I lock eyes with every one of them (looking up at most of them) and proceed to bring the gospel about the privilege of health, the privilege of baseball, the privilege of brotherhood / team mates, and the absolute necessity to never take time for granted.  None of us is guaranteed another second....and they have a jersey with my sons name on it in their locker room as a testament to that fact.  I encourage them that they can best honor my NAME and my SON.....by taking every single practice, every pitch, and every second that the uniform is on their back......to display every ounce of talent that they have been given.   I share the "keep fighting" story....not to cheapen it.....but to illustrate my point.  The message resonates and the story continues.......(more on that later)

OKC in the rearview mirror

All the boxes are packed.  We just have one last stop to make.....out to Mitchell's gravesite.  I have never been one to be too sentimental about death.....especially the death of those saints that you KNOW reside in Heaven.  In all honesty, Mitchell has never been better.....he doesn't miss me at all (eternity = no concept of time).....and last time I checked...Heaven is supposed to be pretty good.  His marker is gorgeous....but it holds nothing special for me other than a spot to quietly remember his life.  Mitch's body matters not.....the marker matters not.....however.....leaving the history, the support system, the school, the church, and the known......is a bigger pill to swallow.  

I will always love Oklahoma....but my heart is in Austin, Texas.  It suits me just fine.....and we are ready to start this new chapter of our lives.

June / July / August coming up tomorrow night.......

Next month it will be 3 years since Mitch passed away.  On one end, John and I's world stand stills and on the other, time flies as this month Meredith will turn 11, an age her brother never made it to......

I came across a devotion I wanted to share, I found it very fitting.  John and I had a conversation a while back.  I had just given him news that we(GoMitchGo Foundation) had just raised $6000 more dollars in Mitchell's honor to go towards research to find a cure(We have now raised close to $400,000 almost half way to our 1 million $ goal).  His response was "You know we could have decided to just blend into the woodwork." And we COULD have....believe me there have been those times where we could have and wanted just crawl under the nearest rug and sit down and quit,  but with the grace of God and the love and support of family and friends we have "Walked On" or as Team Whitaker likes to say it "Kept Fighting."

I hope you will find strength in this devotion as I did. As always, "Keep Fighting"

Tracy

"You have rescued me from death; you have kept my feet from slipping.  So now I can walk in your presence, O God, in your life-giving light." Psalms 56:13

Walk On!

One of my frineds has experienced the death of two children; another friend has two prodigals.  Though both her children were raised with the truth, they are far from living it; one has declared himself an atheist.

  With many trials, the pain feels compounded because one crisis often produces a financial crisis; the pressures mount, and you have a marital crisis!

  One of my friends going through a crisis game me a card that she said had helped her.  The front said, "When you feel as if you are going through hell," and the inside read, " keep walking!"

  There's much to be said for this stark advice.  Keep walking.  Keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Keep holding on to Jesus one moment at a time.  Keep standing when you want to sit and quit.

  Bathsheba in the bible did this.  The most powerful man in her world saw her in her most private moment(taking a bath), called for  her, and then convince her to sleep with him.  Her husband was at war, and when the king called him home to cover up the pregnancy that resulted from the king's night of sin, the loyal man would not sleep with his wife.  So the king had him sent to the front lines, where he was killed.

  David and Bathsheba's baby died shrotly after birth.  All that is enough to crush even the strongest woman.  But Bathsheba mourned, then she married the king and later gave birth to the next king of Israel, who went on to build the first Temple of God.

  Keep walking.

If you would like to join us in our fight by donating or participating in an event see the donating and even pages

It seems like forever since I last sat in front of the computer to post a note on our blog.  Many thoughts have filled my head, but time....and sometimes my heart would not allow me to sit and share.

As many of you know Team Whitaker recently relocated to Texas.  From January til now it has been quite a whirlwind, but things are finally beginning to settle down and after living apart for 5 months we are now all together again.

Since John had already relocated for his job, I did most of the packing(but for those of you that know me even though I may have complained about it....this is how I really prefered it).  I was grateful for John's parents and my girlfriends who came to my rescue many times.  I had packed most rooms and left Mitch's room to do last.  I guess because I knew it would be the hardest, but I also knew that for many of the items that went in the box they wouldn't be coming out.  John's mom and dad came to help one day, sweet Martha grab a box and said we just need to do this.  We both cried the whole time.

As we have been unpacking, Mitch's things have been set aside...in "his room" which is now our guest room.  I have not let John take any of his things to the storage unit or put them in the attic.  Weird, I know.....I can't explain it.  Maybe it is because doing this would make it final.  I am sure the staff at "Clean Sweep" would tell me "The memories are in your heart and your head and not in these things."  But as a mother our nature is to nurture and this is my way of nurturing Mitch for now.

I was reminded of this nurturing instinct of mothers shortly after we moved in.  It seems that a mama bird had found our chimney as a safe haven to lay her eggs.  We could  hear their little chirps each morning and evening.  They would usually quiet after she would feed them, but once in a while they would cry long before she came back.  What they didn't know was that she was sitting outside of the chiminey guarding/protecting them from intruders.

And that's what we do we meet their needs and protect them the best we can.  I think in the back of my head there is a thought that maybe some how I could have protected Mitch from getting cancer....maybe I should have breast fed him longer or not exposed him to certain things.  So now I protect his things from some how getting ruined or thrown away....Yes, crazy I know.  Truth is( and I have read it over and over) there is no certain cause for childhood leukemia. There was no way of protecting him from this.

I am grateful for a God who provides His grace and His word to protect me.  I came across this scripture the other day.  Words He spoke to Rachel after the death of her children.  "Do not weep any longer, for I will reward you......There is hope for your future," says the Lord. (Jermiah 31:16-17)

As we continue our journey on a new path down south I praise the Lord for His love, guidance, protection and for His promise of hope for the future.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers and if you are ever down this way our doors are always open!

Much love,

Tracy

Mitchell Whitaker turns 13 on Saturday, May 15th. OU Baseball and Power Roofing have chosen to honor Mitchell's legacy during the 2010 season. Power Roofing has pledged $25 for every homerun hit by the Sooners. OU has declared Saturday's contest as GoMitchGo Day in an effort to raise awareness for leukemia, lymphoma, and other blood cancers.

Power Roofing will present a check to the Leukemia Lymphoma Society in Mitchell's honor prior to the start of the game. John will be throwing out the first pitch after a short program that details Mitchell's relationship with the OU Baseball program.

If you can make it....come on out....it will be a great day.  We look forward to seeing all of our friends as one of our last weekends in Oklahoma before we move to Austin.  

SATURDAY, MAY 15TH - 6PM - Go Mitch Go Day - OU Baseball vs Memphis

Mitchell Whitaker turns 13 on Saturday, May 15th. OU Baseball and Power Roofing have chosen to honor Mitchell's legacy during the 2010 season. Power Roofing has pledged $25 for every homerun hit by the Sooners. OU has declared Saturday's contest as GoMitchGo Day in an effort to raise awareness for leukemia, lymphoma, and other blood cancers.

Power Roofing will present a check to the Leukemia Lymphoma Society in Mitchell's honor prior to the start of the game. 

John will be throwing out the first pitch after a short program that details Mitchell's relationship with the OU Baseball program.

If you can make it....come on out....it will be a great day.

MONDAY,  MAY 17TH - ALL DAY

Eat more chikn!  Once again, our friends at the Chic Fil A location @ Rockwell and NW Expway is sponsoring GoMitchGo Day!!  Come by all day long on Monday - tell them you are with GoMitchGo and 15% of your ticket will be donated to the Leukemia Lymphoma Society in Mitchell Whitaker's honor!

We hope to see you there!

Keep Fighting.

We hope to see you there!

Keep Fighting.

You can order GoMitchGo Athletics shirts via the "Gear" tab.  Item descriptions and very specific ordering instructions can be found on the "GEAR" page for this order.

Keep Fighting -

John

Welcome to the new website.  As you may have noticed....we aren't just a blog anymore.  This new site will help expand our reach.  It will now be the home of the GoMitchGo Foundation and allow us to more efficiently keep you up to speed on our events, causes, concerns, and thoughts as we continue on this journey to honor Mitchell's life.  We are humbled by all your support, love, and prayers over the past several years and hope you continue to "keep fighting" to raise awareness and find a cure for leukemia.

All new blog entries will be made from this site.....so just click on the blog link up top.  All previous entries from the original blog can be found by clicking on the "archive" button on the right hand side of the page.

Poke around....let us know what you think.  Make sure to check out the Team tab.  GoMitchGo Athletics 2010 will launch at the OKC Memorial Marathon.  Come join us and run for Mitch!

You can also follow us on Facebook.  The facebook link on this page (to the right) will take you straight to the GoMitchGo Foundation group on Facebook.

This site is still very much a work in progress....aren't we all (insert smirk).....but we hope you like what you see.  Check back often.

** Team Whitaker

This evening I read a story about a man, a father, here in town, who killed his 9 year old son, yes I said KILLED and later heard about a woman, a mother(in another state) that sold her 5 year old daughter to be a sex object and later they found the little girl's dead body. I am not sure if I can even put my feelings into words right now. In hearing this, I felt nauseated, a lump came up in my throat and I had to fight back the tears. So many thoughts came into my head.....one word kept repeating itself in my head.....WHY. Why in the world were these people allowed to be parents?! Why was this man allowed to have a son when obviously he was not father material, while was my son taken from me......WHY was this man allowed to be a father when we have a precious friend, a father of four, lying in a hospital bed fighting for his life after suffering a brain injury. Why was this woman allowed to have a precious daughter, when my friend is not able to have babies... WHY!?

I have not been one to ask God why......I believe that He loves me and that He knows and wants what's best for me. This emotion tonight came as a shock to me, I just do not understand. Do not misunderstand me.....I am not turning away from God I do still believe He loves me and His plan is what is best for my life. But I am after all only human. Some days I wish my time to meet Jesus would come soon so I could get my questions answered.

No special encouragement from me tonight.........just a mother missing her boy, wishing he were here and wondering WHY me?

2 years ago today we were wheeling into the PICU at OU Medical Center......trying desperately to save a life that Christ had already called home. 2 years ago today....as I watched him fight, claw, battle, and suffer.....was the first time that I told him that it was "Ok.....to let go. If you see Christ.....if you see a Light.....just run to it. We will be just behind you.....and we are so proud of you, son."

Time keeps moving on.....but the love of Christ remains the same. His good, pleasing and perfect will continues to play out in this life regardless of our circumstances. He has shown me much in the weeks leading up to this event.....and I don't know if I have ever felt closer to Him than I do right now. The Lord MOVED me this morning while listening to Matt Redmans new release "we shall not be shaken". Tears streamed down my face as I worked out.....as the words from this great artist became mine.

Father.....I love you.

Father.....thank you for this life you have given me.

Father.....thank you for giving your Son for me.

Father.....thank you giving your Son for my Son.

Father.....thank you for giving me Mitchell....and allowing me to see YOUR love for me through my relationship with him.

Father.....I praise you for working in my life.....feet made of clay....failures on display....but fighting to the end. I love you.....You are mighty to save, You alone are worthy, and Your love never fails.

GoMitchGo.....keep fighting.

1) The Team Whitaker household is quite busy! Work, school, homework, dance, Team in Training, PTO, LLS etc. calls our names daily. John and I have also founded the Go Mitch Go Foundation in Mitch's honor and we are busy planning our 2nd Annual Go Mitch Go golf tournament(to be held Oct. 5th @ the Shawnee Country Club).

2) We are now almost 2 years out from Mitch's passing.......some days the pain is still as strong as if it just happened, but there has been healing. I can only speak for myself, but I think John would agree, we have less tearful days which I guess could be labled "good" days. So when it's been a "good" day it's hard to sit down and blog......blogging most always make me cry.

In 17 days it will be 2 years since Mitchell went to his heavenly home..........I cannot beleive it. Time has flown yet for us in a sense it is frozen. Last month Meredith turned 10...... she is growing like a weed. I told her one day before her birthday that I didn't think I would be able to let her turn 10. Her reply: "You let Mitchell." We are frozen at age 10 with Mitchell.........I have watched his buddies all grow, some of their voices are even changing.......we still have size 8/medium clothes and size 2 1/2 shoes hanging in the closet. Some day the time will come when we will have been without him longer than we had him with us.......that makes me sad.

We continue to have an amazing amount of support and we feel very blessed. The other day I was cleaning out a closet and came across a huge stack of cards, I have been collecting them since Mitchell passed away. These are cards sent just to me, I decided I would count them.......232(I received 2 they day I was counting). Do I ever feel loved! These women who sent them to me some are good friends others I do not even know, but each time their words have been just what I needed. I beleive they were being obedient to God as He gave them words to say or put the perfect card in their sight.

The card I received that day was no exception.......the words were just what I needed to hear. I want to share that with you.

The card read: "The most beautiful stones have been tossed by the wind and washed by the water and polished to brilliance by life's stongest storms."

She gave me a scripture reminding me that God wants to replace our ashes with beauty.......not put it on top of the ashes but replace them all together.

Isaiah 61:3 "To grant [consolation and joy]to those who mourn in Zion-to give them an ornament[a garland or diadem]of beauty INSTEAD of ashes, the oil of joy INSTEAD of mourning, the garment[expressive] of praise INSTEADof a heavy, burdened and failing spirit-that they may be called oaks of righteousness[lofty, strong, and magnificent, distinguished for uprightness, justice and right standing with God], the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified".

Wow! I should be amazingly beautiful by the time I die! Smile

Praise the Lord for His love for us! We have had a couple of people send us this song just today. I am warning you, you will need a box of kleenex. This song was written by Steven Curtis Chapman who lost his 5 year old daughter in a car accident. I have heard a lot of songs since Mitch passed away, but this one not only spoke to my heart, it spoke the words of my heart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9JTwJ_1lzE

Much Love,

Tracy

Always gonna be another mountain. I'm always gonna want to try to make it move.

Always gonna be an uphill battle. Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose.

Ain't about how fast I get there. Ain't about what's waiting on the other side.

It's the Climb.

Life is a climb.....we are surrounded by mountains, some big, some small, some that are new others that we climb daily. Some provide beautiful scenery and a peaceful place to pitch our tents to take a rest. Some a not so grand scenery with many "rocks" or "cliffs" that we must manuever. However, sometimes we do not even realize we are crossing these mountains except when we feel weak. It is on these mountains where friends and family can help us with encouragement and even a hand to hold, but ultimately it is only God who can get us to the top. "I will lift my eyes to the hills-from whence comes my help? My help comes from the LORD, maker of Heaven and earth."Psalm 121:1-2

So I beg to differ with Miss Cyrus as she states "Ain't about what's on the other side," for me it's ALL about what/or who is on the other side. Yes, life is a climb, it is during our journey that we learn many lessons, when we grow and transform into the person that God wants us to be. But it's knowing what awaits me on "the other side" that gives me HOPE to complete my journey. I have a "room" prepared just for me, by my Lord, Jesus Christ, where I will pitch my tent and rest eternally with Him........hopefully right next to Mitch's room......

Go and climb those moutains, but remember it's not all about the climb, but about what IS waiting for you when you finish!

Happy 4th of July!

Tracy