Letting Go of the Bike

This week my baby girl will start her adventures as a middle schooler AND turn 12.  That's a lot for this Mama to take in all in one week.  She is SO excited she can hardly sit still.  I am doing my best to share in her excitement all the while trying to hold back the tears of my fears.  This day has come way too fast for me, and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and unprepared.  Maybe it's because in the back of my mind this is not how I had it planned out.  My plan was to have her older brother with her to show her the "ropes" and watch over her.  I had my older brother and as much as it kills me to admit it I was glad I did.....I wanted her to have Mitch. 

However, this overwhelming feeling I am experiencing is much more than her starting middle school and not having her brother here.  It's about her entering a whole new phase in life.  She is becoming more and more independent and less dependent on us............more specifically, on me.  It takes me back to the time when we taught her to ride a bike.  It seems like just yesterday when John and I were out in the front yard taking off the training wheels, giving all the verbal instructions we could think of then giving them that one last push......(to save on the cost of bubble wrap, we would have them practice in the grass just in case they fell over when we let go of the back of the seat).  The kids would say "don't let go, don't let go" and turn around to realize daddy or mommy had let go at the last driveway.  In no time, they both succeeded at riding a bike and if my memory serves me right we have had very few, if any major bike wrecks(this is only taking the children into account). 

But I am finding myself not wanting to let go of the bike this time.  The bike is no longer her pretend horse Daisy, and she is not riding off into green pastures(she would not find a green pasture here in Texas anyway)to rescue a long lost animal.  This time it is her pretend convertible and she is off to the mall with her girlfriends.  As parents we tend to hold on a little longer to the back of the bike seat when it comes to our children's life and faith.  We continue to want to be in control of steering and braking for our children in hopes of protecting them from disappointment, heart break or consequences from poor choices.  We want them to remember all the things we have taught them about God and life, to pick the right friends, college, career spouse, to follow in our foot steps or maybe steer clear of some of the poor choices we made.  So our grasp remains....if not even a bit firmer than when they were younger.  But there comes a time when we have to release our firm grasp and let go of the bike. 

I'm not quite ready to send Meredith off on her own down I-35 or even across town, maybe we can just start with going around the block. I read an article recently from an online preteen ministry, fourfivesix.org. They explain letting go of the bike in this way: 

"....It means that instead of simply teaching them by providing the right information, we support them by allowing them to learn for themselves.  Instead of simple telling preteens how their faith affects their life, we create environments and resources where they continue discovering it.  Instead of giving them all the answers about God, Jesus, the Bible and the rest of life, we invite them to voice their own questions and even offer their own answers.  Instead of telling them what they should be doing, we create opportunities to discover how God is calling them to bring God's kingdom to life in the world." 

Instead of "holders" we become "supporters"or cheerleaders. We may let go, but we still run along side them encouraging them, helping to direct them on the path God has for them.  There will be times when we may need to help them up from a fall or minor crash(broken hearts from those first crushes).  We are equipping and preparing them for that day when they will ride across town all on their own(because we all know this day will come).  In order for our children to discover the person God has made them to be we have to let go of the bike.

So tomorrow I will start with a small step of letting go of the bike as I send Meredith off to Middle school(the bigger release will come when she heads off to college) loaded up with encouragement and MUCH prayer(you might send a few prayers up for me as well).  If only I could fit in the basket............

*On a side note:

This weekend we went to pick up her schedule and get her locker.  While waiting in line she found a penny(for us this is a "hello" from Mitch)when they handed her the combination to her locker smack in the middle was the #18, Mitch's baseball #......he will be watching over her just from a further distance.